QUOTABLE QUOTES – Reader’s Digest

  1. When you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s hard to know when you’re
  1. To understand everything is to forgive everything – BUDDHA
  2. I looked up the word politics in the dictionary.  It’s actually a combination of two
Words : poli, which means many , and tics , which means bloodsuckers.
-          JAY LENO on  “ The Tonight Show”
  1. So , what is the point of human life ? Continuity , Passing along , Passing along
Life , from father to son , from teacher to pupil and so on . We all pass
Something along – From the book “ Gladiator and Lost Illusions”
  1. The best aphrodisiac is to open your heart. – MARIA TEREZA MALDONADO
  2. To the mediocre, mediocrity appears great. – Proverb
  3. A brief comment can be the fruit of long deliberation – SIETSE JENSMA
  4. When our memories outweigh our dreams , we have grown old .
-          BILL CLINTON
  1. We’ll always have death and taxes , but death doesn’t get worse every year
-          TIM BORTEN
  1. Pragmatism should not be confused with indolence – Proposition from a thesis
  1. God is with those who persevere – the Koran

Who said it ?
Each work has to pass through these stages – ridicule , opposition and then acceptance
-          Swami Vivekananda

  1. True giving happens when we give from our heart – MUHAMMAD ALI , The soul of a Butterfly ( Simon & Schuster)
  2. If people convinced themselves that today is the most important of days , they’d
Have a greater chance of being happy – ANA MARIA BRAGA
  1. There’s an upside to grandparenthood. You play , you give , you love , then you
Hand them back and go to an early movie – BILLY CRYSTAL in Good House
  1. If you’re lucky enough to do well , it’s your responsibility to send the elevator
Back down – KEVIN SPACEY in AARP : The Magazine.
  1. Being President is a lot like running a cemetery . You’ve got a lot of  people
Under you and nobody’s listening – BILL CLINTON
  1. You have to be first , different , or great . If you’re one of them , you may make it
-          LORETTA LYNN in O , The Oprah Magazine.
  1. Every photograph seems to portray greater happiness than the real moment when
It was taken – BIANCA RAMONEDA
  1. A learned man’s knowledge will be of no avail to him if he doesn’t have control
Over his tongue – KABIR
  1. The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will
  1. Frankness doesn’t consist of saying everything you think , but of thinking
Everything you say – HYPOLITE   DE  LIVRY

Who said it ?
The art of a people is a true mirror of their minds – Jawaharlal Nehru

  1. If you can find humour in anything , even poverty , you can survive it
-          BILL COSBY
  1. My early choice in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or
A politician . And to tell the truth , there’s hardly any difference
      24. Nostalgia has the habit of embellishing , or not , what has happened in the
            Most convenient and pretty way – ADRIANA FALCAO
  1. I find it deplorable that some people insist on the chronology of someone’s love
Life when he or she has much more interesting things to talk about –
-          TONIA CARRERO
  1. Suffering is circumstantial : it either stops or we die – MAITE PROENCA
  2. It was while making newspaper deliveries , trying to miss the bushes and hit the
Porch , that I first learned the importance of accuracy in journalism –
-          CHARLES OSGOOD Defending Baltimore Against Enemy Attack
-          ( Hyperion )
  1. A perfect parent is a person with excellent childrearing theories and no actual
Children – DAVE  BARRY
  1. They say you only go around once , but with a muscle car you can go around two
Or three times – TIM ALLEN on “Home Improvement”
  1. Part of what makes a human being a human being is the imperfections.
Like , you wouldn’t give a robot my ears . You just wouldn’t do that
-          WILL SMITH in  In Touch
  1. For marriage to be a success , every woman and every man should have her and
His own bathroom . The End – CATHERINE ZETA JONES in InStyle
  1. I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold , service was joy – RABINDRANATH  TAGORE
      32. The greatest dreams are always unrealistic – WILL SMITH in Parade
      33. The grass may be greener on the otherside, but it’s just as hard to cut
             - LITTLE  RICHARD
      34. One doesn’t have a sense of humour. It has you – LARRY  GELBART
      35. The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death –
      36. If someone does something that is completely wrong and you tell him or her that
            It’s great just to be nice , he or she will just keep getting worse
37. There’s more to boxing than hitting. There’s not getting hit , for instance
      - GEORGE  FOREMAN  in Guideposts
38. Fathers who are too repressive or too liberal are not fathers. They are either
      Stepfathers or friends – MARCOS CARUSO
39. Camping : nature’s way of promoting the motel industry –
      - DAVE  BARRY , Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever Need (Random House)
40. Outcomes rarely turn on grand gestures or the art of the deal , but on
       Whether you’ve sent someone a thank-you note – BERNIE  BRILLSTEIN
41. There are advantages to being President . The day after I was elected , I had my
       High school grades classified Top Secret – RONALD  REAGAN
42. I really do believe if you can live through remodeling a home , you can live the
      Rest of your lives together – JENNIFER  ANISTON
43. We enjoy the moment better by taking it one step at a time – FATIMA          BERNARDES
44. A well-paid job is more rejuvenating than a night of passion - SUSANA VIEIRA
45. What Washington needs is adult supervision – BARACK OBAMA(US Senator)
46. Anything I do , I learn about first. Iam not in favour of improvisation ; I believe
      In work and in learning – FERREIRA  GULLAR
47. Wringing your hands only stops you from rolling up your sleeves –
48. People will forget what you said , people will forget what you did , but
      People will never forget how you made them feel – MAYA  ANGELOU
49. Always focus on the front windshield and not the rearview mirror
      - COLIN POWELL in AARP The Magazine
50. An hour of basketball feels like 15 minutes. An hour on a treadmill feels
      Like a weekend in driving school – DAVID WALTERS

Who said it ?
Like timidity , bravery is also contagious” – MUNSHI  PREMCHAND

51. Sulking about your mistakes only leads to future ones – BILL RANCIC
52. Only two things ever stop the government from doing anything : money and
       Politics – BRADLEY WHITFORD
53. Love is the answer , but while you’re waiting for the answer , sex raises some
      Pretty good questions – WOODY  ALLEN
54. If  knowledge is  power , why don’t more people aspire to it ? – LASZLO FELEKI
55. Have great , secret , big , fat hopes for yourself – GLORIA  VANDERBILT
56. Leaders inspire. They aren’t assigned leadership. They command it
       - DR  PHIL  MCGRAW
57. All photos are accurate. None of  them is the truth – RICHARD AEDON

Who said it ?
Much energy is wasted in trying to charm others. And in wanting to charm – I tell
You , the opposite happens – SRI SRI  RAVI  SHANKAR

58. Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears
59. False science creates atheists ; true science prostrates Man before divinity
      - VOLTAIRE
60. Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy
61. Blaming your faults on your nature does not change the nature of your faults
62. After growing up on a dairy farm , everything in life seemed easy
       -  MIKE  JOHANNS
63. If you read someone else’s diary , you get what you deserve – DAVID SEDARIS
64. Nobody wants to hear celebrity complain – JENNIFER LOPEZ
65. That’s the key to comedy : allowing yourself to look stupid – MEGAN  MULLALLY
66. He who suffers all sorts of evil finds comfort in just a little good – AUSTIN YANEZ
67. One has to endure betrayal and disloyalty and , hardest of all , another person’s
      Excellence of character or intellect – SANDOR MARAI
68. My father used to say , If you want to be different , do something different
69. The best present a man can give a woman is his undivided attention – USHER
70. Everyone makes and carries within him his own “heaven” or “hell” , and
       You don’t need to die to go there – LUZ  ESTELA ROZO DE ZUBILLAGA
71. The best mind-altering drug is the truth – LILY TOMLIN
72. You spend the first two years of your kids’ lives teaching them to walk and talk
       And the next 16 years telling them to sit down and be quiet – ARELE  STRASSER
73. Lust is easy . Love is hard . Like is most important – CARL  REINER
74. Year after year , cookbooks and diet books are the biggest sellers – how not to eat
       It once you’ve learned how to cook it – ANDY  RODNEY
75. Where all men think alike , no one thinks very much -  WALTER  LIPPMANN
76. A financial genius is someone who manages to earn more than his family can
      Spend – LIZA

Who said it ?
There are some days when I , myself , think I’m overrated – MERYL  STREEP

77. If  you have a boat and a happy marriage , you don’t need another thing
      - ED  MCMAHON
78. Life isn’t all golf – TIGER  WOODS
79. Endure today’s pain today . Do not add it to yesterday’s nor attempt to
      Shoulder tomorrow’s – AURELIANO  TAPIA  MENDEZ
80. Courtesy is nourished by courtesy – DOMEICO  CIERI  ESTRADA
81. Work is the least important thing and family is the most important
82. A shattered illusion is a sorrowful experience ; but a life without illusion is a
       Sorrowful life – JOSE  NAROSKY
83. If your mind goes blank , don’t forget to turn off the sound ! MONICA POPP
84. Everyone should have kids . They are the greatest joy in the world. But they
      Are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and they start
       Using sleep deprivation to break you – RAY  ROMANO
85. The mighty oak was once just a small nut who stood his ground –
       - RIANNA  NADON
86. The truth is important even if there’s no point to it – JENO  REJTO
87. The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge
       Faster than society gathers wisdom – ISAAC  ASIMOV
88. To attain knowledge , add things every day . To attain wisdom , remove things
       Every day – LAO  TZU
89. Here’s the secret to a happy marriage ; Do what your wife tells you
90. The real value of a work of art can only be told by the work itself ; others can
      Just talk about it – NORA  GALLAY
91. Man is not the creature of circumstances , circumstance are the creatures of men
92. Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper , writing a line on the
       Back of a napkin. That is the most fun comedians ever have  - JERRY  SEINFELD
93. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err
94. Contrary to what some pessimists say , the world is not lost ; rather it is lacking in
       Real signs of love. – ANTONIO  PINTO  LEITE
95. Accept good advice gracefully – as long as it doesn’t interfere with what you intend
       To do – ROTARY  DOWN  UNDER
96. Whether it’s the pot that hits the rock or the rock that hits the pot , it’s the pot that
       Will break every time – MIGUEL  DE  CERVANTES

Who said it ?
Whether you’re a man or not comes from your heart , not how much hair you have on
  Your head – BRUCE  WILLIS

97.    Well – behaved women never make history – MARIA  SHRIVER
98.    Nothing is permanent in this wicked world ,  not even our troubles
99.    A novel which persuades us of its truth is true however full of lies it may be
-          100. Happiness comes from giving happiness – LUZ  ESTELA  ROZO  DE 
-                   ZUBILLAGA
-          101. My father said there were two kinds of people in the world ; givers and
-                   Takers.  The takers may eat better ,  but the givers sleep better
-                   -  MARLO  THOMAS
-          102. Opportunities multiply as they are seized -  SUN  TZU
-          103. Love is blind , but marriage is a real eyeopener – PAULA DEEN
-          104. I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no
-                  - RICHARD  BRANSON
-          105. He who does not understand a look will not understand a good explanation
-                   Either – MARIO  QUINTANA
-          106. The best beauty secret is sunblock – CHRISTIE  BRINKLEY

Who said it ?
There are some days when I , myself , think I’m overrated – MERYL  STREEP

107. Everybody , no matter how old you are , is around 24 , 25 in their heart
        - BRUCE  WILLIS
108. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself . After all , you could be missing out on the
        Joke of the century – DAME EDNA  EVERAGE
109. Keep five metres from a carriage , ten metres from a horse , and a hundred metres
        From an elephant , but the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot
        Be measured – INDIAN PROVERB
110. Some minds are like concrete , thoroughly mixed up and permanently set
111. There is no such thing as an attention span . People have infinite attention if you are
         Entertaining them – JERRY  SEINFELD
112. I never wanted to be a prophet or a saviour. Elvis maybe – BOB DYLAN
113. Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown . I do – PARIS  HILTON
114. What’s a good investment ? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon
         Throwing a ball around with your son  -  BEN  STEIN
115. Fear is like the strong medicine used to fight serious diseases ; it purges , but it also
        Alters your temperament and wears out the body organs.  A person who is driven
         By fear will always be the weaker for it – FENELON

Who said it ?
Two things control man’s character ; Strength and Pity – SWAMI  VIVEKANANDA

116.What is wrong with sentimental ? Sentimental means you like stuff
        - PAUL STUFF
117. Joy is one of the only emotions you can’t contrive – BONO
118. In the 60s people took acid to make the world seem weird. Now the world is weird
        And people are taking Prozac to make it seem normal – ANONYMOUS
119. New – born desires , after all , have inexplicable charms , and all the pleasure
        Of love is in variety – MOLIERE
120. There are three words I like to repeat to myself ; glass half full. Just to remind
         Myself to be grateful for everything I have – GOLDIE   HAWN
121. One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop
         Whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating –
122. Health is the greatest gift , contentment the greatest wealth , faithfulness the best
        Relationship – GAUTAMA  BUDDHA
123. True friends are those who come and share our happiness when we call them and
         Our misfortune without being called – DEMETRIO  DE  FALERA
124. People want to know why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart
        Of a small boy – and I keep it in a jar on my desk – STEPHEN KING
125. Friendship is identification and difference – HERMANN HESSE
126. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
        “ Hold my purse” – FRANCOIS  MORENCY
127. A day is sometimes our mother sometimes our stepmother – HESIOD
128. If you suspect a man , don’t employ him , and if you employ him , don’t suspect
        Him – Chinese Proverb
129. There is no true education which is not poetic – JACINTO  PRADO  COELHO
130. Theirs is nothing better than a world where everybody’s just trying to make each
         Other laugh – MATTHEW  PERRY
131. Love is overrated . Biochemically no different than eating large quantities
        Of  chocolate – AL  PACINO
132. I’ve written 17 novels , and  I’ve  found out that fiction can’t keep up with real
        Life – JOHN  GRISHAM
133. There is no element of genius without some form of madness –
134. For the merchant , even honesty is a financial speculation –CHARLES BAUDELAIRE

Who said it ?
I could do with more mobbing . Particularly from women . I’d like to be treated
Like Ricky  Martin – HUGH  GRANT

135. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t make them all yourself
          - USHER
136. The most likely moment for something incredible to happen to me was the
         Moment I was most certain nothing every would – JANE  PAULEY
137. We use 10% of our brains . Imagine how much we could accomplish
          If we used the other 60%  - ELLEN  DEGENERES
138. Every author should always have this sentence in mind : “If the wise man
        Doesn’t approve , it’s bad ; if the fool applauds , it’s worse” 
-          TOMAS  DE  IRIARTE
139. I may be the only woman in America who knows exactly what her child is up
        To all the time – BARBARA  BUSH
140. Don’t visit anyone every evening , not even your siblings – Portuguese proverb
141. Everything has two sides – the outside that is ridiculous , and the inside that is
        Solemn  -  O.SCHREINER
142.    The worst thing about our problems is that nobody has nothing to do with them
-          MARIO  QUINTANA
143.    Too many people spend money they haven’t earned , to buy things they don’t
Want , to impress people they don’t like -  WILL  SMITH
144.    You’ve got to date a lot of Volkswagens before you get to your Porsche
-          DEBBY  ATKINSON
145.    History desn’t have a phone number , nor does it have a reception day.
It’s a process of which you either catch the suitable moment and act as
An honest person should , or you pass through time’s sieve , and ,
However much you try , you won’t get anywhere – FOR  ELISE
146.    “Deadlines are important-but more important  than anything else is to have a
Deadline to achieve development” - Kamalnath
147.    If you want to change the world, change it through the market”. Paul Gilding.
148.    The greatest dreams are always unrealistic – WILL SMITH  in Parade.
149.    The grass may be greener on the other side, but it’s just as hard to cut – LITTLE RICHARD.
150.    One doesn’t have a sense of humour. It has you – LARRY GELBART
151.    The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death – CHRISTIANE TORLONI
152.    If someone does something that is completely wrong and you tell him or her that it’s great just to be nice, he or she will just keep getting worse – BARBARA HELIODORA
153.    There’s more to boxing than hitting. There’s not getting hit, for instance – GEORGE FOREMAN in Guideposts.
154.    Fathers who are too repressive or too liberal are not fathers. They are either stepfathers or friends – MARCOS CARUSO
155.    Camping:nature’s way of promoting the motel industry – DAVE BARRY, Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever Need ( Random House )
156.    Outcomes rarely turn on grand gestures or the art of the deal, but on whether you’ve sent someone a thank-you note – BERNIE BRILLSTEIN. The Little Stuff Matters Most ( Gotham )
157.    There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret – RONALD REAGAN.
158.    Food, love, mother and career : the four basic guilt groups – CATHY GUISEWITE
159.    I really do believe if you can live through remodelling a home, you can live the rest of your lives together – JENNIFER ANISTON on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
160.    We enjoy the moment better by taking it one step at a time – FATIMA BERNARDES.
161.    A well-paid job is more rejuvenating than a night of passion – SUSANA VIEIRA
162.    If you can find humour in anything, even poverty, you can survive it – BILL COSBY.
163.    My early choice in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference – HARRY  TRUMAN.
164.    Nostalgia has the habit of embellishing, or not, what has happened in the most convenient and pretty way – ADRIANA  FALCAO.
165.    I find it deplorable that some people insist on the chronology of someone’s love life when he or she has much more interesting things to talk about – TONIA CARRERO.
166.    Suffering is circumstantial: it either stops or we die – MAITE  PROENCA.
167.    It was while making newspaper deliveries, trying to miss the bushes and hit the porch, that I first learned the importance of accuracy in journalism – CHARLES  OSGOOD , Defending Baltimore Against Enemy Attack ( Hyperion )
168.    A perfect parent is a person with excellent childrearing theories and no actual children – DAVE  BARRY.
169.    They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times – TIM  ALLEN on  “ Home Improvement”.
170.    Part of what makes a human being a human being is the imperfections. Like, you wouldn’t give a robot my ears. You just wouldn’t do that – WILL  SMITH  in
In Touch
171.    For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his          
Own bathroom. The End – CATHERINE  ZETA-JONES in  InStyle
172.    I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted
And behold, service was joy – RABINDRANATH  TAGORE.

Quotable Quotes:
Stroke of Genius
LIKE THE nagging pain that eases on the day before the doctor’s appointment, so it is with those peculiar noises in a car that never sound off when one takes the car into the garage.  An enterprising woman solved this problem.  She took her tape recorder into the shop and played the noise she had recorded previously to assist the incredulous mechanic in diagnosing her car’s problem – Harold McCrone.
Like It Is
EVERY household should have a filing cabinet upon which to stack important papers. – Doug Larson, United Feature Syndicate.
NOSTALGIA is like sex; every generation thinks it is discovering it for the first time. – Michael Barrier in Nation’s Business.
YOU DO have to admire one thing about TV serial families – they never waste time watching television. – Kris Lee in The Saturday Evening Post.
PLATONIC love is like being invited down to the wine cellar for a glass of soda. – Los Angeles Times Syndicate.
THE TOUGHEST part of dieting isn’t watching what you eat—it’s watching what your friends eat.—Wilfred Beaver in Chicago Tribune.
MONEY  isn’t everything, according to those who have it. – Malcolm Forbes, The Sayings of Chairman Malcolm.

World Counsel
GOD SAVE you from a bad neighbour and from a beginner on the fiddle – Italian Proverb.
BEFORE YOU marry, keep your two eyes open; after you marry, shut one. –Jamaican Proverb.
EVEN A small star shines in the darkness. –Finnish proverb
HE WHO cannot dance puts the blame on the floor. –Hindi Proverb.
IF YOU want your dreams to come true; don’t sleep—Yiddish Proverb.
FAULTS ARE thick where love is thin. –British Proverb.
WITH TIME and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown. –Chinese Proverb.
TREAT your guest as a guest for two days, on the third day; give him a hoe. –Swahili Proverb.

Trait Accompli
DIRECTION:  Putting two and two together and keeping your mouth shut.  – L.L.Levinson, The Left Handed Dictionary.
DIPLOMACY:  The art of jumping into troubled water without making a splash. –Art Linkletter.
SUBTLETY:  Saying what you think and then getting out of range before it’s understood. –Los Angeles Times Syndicate.

Fine Distinctions
MANY “FAMILIAR” quotations in their correct form really aren’t so familiar. Can you identify the correct original version from the three choices in the following sets of quotations?
1.a) Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die.
   b) Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die.
   c) There is not a reason why, but there is to do or die.
(A)(Alfred Lord Tennyson)
2.a) Discretion is the better part of valour.
   b) Discretion is better than valour.
   c) The better part of valour is discretion.
(C) (William Shakespeare)
3.a) All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
   b) Everyone I like, I find, is either immoral, illegitimate or fat.
   c) Everything that’s good is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
(A)(Alexander Woolcott)
4.a) To the manor born.
   b) To the manner born.
   c) To the manor borne.
(B)(William Shakespeare)
5.a) Blood, tears, toil and sweat.
   b) Blood, Sweat and tears.
   c) Blood, toil, tears and sweat.
(C) ( Winston Churchill)
6.a) A rose is a rose is a rose.
   b) Rose is a rose is a rose.
   c) Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.
(C) (Gertrude Stein)

IF YOU can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one. – Mother Teresa.
EXCUSES are the nails used to build a house of failure. –Don Wilder and Bill Rechin, North America Syndicate.
IF ANYONE thinks he has no responsibilities, it is because he has not sought them out. – Mary Lyon.
WHAT THE world really needs is more love and less paper work. – Pearl Bailey.
BRAVERY never goes out of fashion. –William Makepeace Thackeray.
WHEN THINGS are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse.  And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better. – Malcolm Forbes, The Sayings of Chairman Malcolm.
IT IS not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. – Edmund Hillary.
THOSE who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness. – Cullen Hightower.
A LIFE of ease is a difficult pursuit. – William Cowper.

Mythology and names :  WHY is a book of maps called an atlas?  Atlas was a Greek hero who, according to mythology, held up the world on his shoulders.  The Greeks usually represented him supporting two huge pillars that held up the earth.  These pillars rested in the sea, and hence the name, Atlantic Ocean.  In later centuries, the figure of Atlas holding up a globe was often used on the cover of a book of maps.  So, a book of maps came to be known as an Atlas.

REPLYING to an invitation to a Scientists’ Ball:
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm;
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend;
Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought;
Ampere was worried he wasn’t up to current research;
Ohm resisted the idea at first;
Boyle said he was under too much pressure;
Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience;
Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam;
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco;
Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight;
Dr Jekyll declined—he hadn’t been feeling himself lately;
Morse’s reply? “I’ll be there on the dot. Can’t stop now—must dash”.
--New Scientist/WPN,England.

Trust in God, But Lock Your Car
A FEW years ago, I made a list of advice for my son, Adam, when he left for college.  Those pages became Life’s Little Instruction Book, and at the time I felt the list was complete.  But within days I began thinking of other entries I wished I’d included.  And so I offer the following:
Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

Believe in love at first sight.

Remember that no time spent with your children is ever wasted.

Accept a breath mint if someone offers you one.

Rehearse a joke before telling it.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

Once in a while invite the person behind you in the queue to go ahead of you.

Send your mother-in-law flowers on your spouse’s birthday.

Buy ladders, extension cords and garden hoses longer than you think you’ll need.
Never be the first to break a family tradition.

Ask anyone giving directions to repeat them at least twice.

Hold your child’s hand every chance you get.  The time will come when he or she won’t let you.

Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.

Someone will always be looking at you as an example of how to behave.  Don’t let him down.

Do your homework and know your facts, but remember it’s passion that persuades.

Be as friendly to the janitor as you are to the chairman of the board.

When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile, and say, “Why do you want to know?”

Overestimate travel time by 15 percent.

Don’t be so concerned with your rights that you forget your manners.

Don’t dismiss a good idea simply because you don’t like the source.

When you say, “I’am sorry,” look the person in the eye.

Put the strap around your neck before looking through binoculars.

Trust in God, but lock your car.

Never say anything uncomplimentary about your wife or children in the presence of others.

No matter how old you get, hug and kiss your mother whenever you greet her.

Pray.There’s immeasurable power in it.

Brush your teeth before putting on your tie.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

Phone home if you’re going to be more than 20 minutes late.

Remember that everyone is influenced by kindness.
When it comes to worrying or painting a picture, know when to stop.

Avoid using the word impacted unless you’re describing wisdom teeth.

Be bold.Providence loves boldness and will assist you in ways you wouldn’t imagine.

Call your dad.

Flaunt Ads

The Prussian Academy of Sciences is a fast-track academic institute that requires a proactive, hands-on-type individual to overthrow the Newtonian conception of the universe.  The successful candidate will have an excellent command of mass, energy, space, time and some maths.  Bonus paid upon completion of proofs.

Are you an action-oriented, take-charge person  interested in exciting new challenges?  As director of a major public-sector organization, you will manage a large armed division and interface with other senior executives in a team-oriented, multinational initiative in the global marketplace.  Successful candidate will have above-average oral-presentation skills.

Dynamic, rapidly expanding European monarchy seeks a can-do visionary to head up its South American divisions.  Our ideal candidate will have at least five years’ experience in New World colonization and be willing to accept shift work.  Fluency in Spanish an asset.  Some travel involved.

Lorenzo de’ Medici seeks highly skilled, aesthetically oriented individual to conceive and implement several major public projects.  You are a generalist with sound training in structural engineering, synthesis of pigments and Christian iconography.  Some climbing involved.

Which came first?
1.      a) Impressionists (late 19th Century)
b) Surrealists (1924)
c) Abstract Expressionists (1945)

2.   a) Toothbrush (1490)
   b) Zipper ( 1893)
   c) Lipstick ( 1915)
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